


Mirror, Mirror...

by Kalta79



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Eventual Relationships, F/M, Fluff and Crack, Identity Swap, M/M, Mild Language, Narcissism, Parody, Possession, Sephiroth is still somewhat insane, Weird Plot Shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-01 01:15:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13987305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kalta79/pseuds/Kalta79
Summary: Thanks to Aerith, Sephiroth gets another chance with Cloud, but not like he expected, and he finds another love unexpectedly. This is total parody/crap, I wanted to do something stupid and silly after the darkness of Twisted.





	1. Chapter 1

Sephiroth stood in front of the full-length mirror and put the tiara on his head, then twirled around modeling it, enjoying the way his dress flared up, showing off his legs.

Cloud came home for lunch after a few easy morning deliveries, and was disappointed but not surprised when Tifa wasn’t in the kitchen, just finishing up his meal. She wasn’t the best cook ever, but over the last few months her culinary skills seemed to have totally disappeared, if she even bothered cooking at all. He went upstairs when he heard a noise, and found Tifa in their bedroom, singing “You Are So Beautiful To Me” to her reflection.

Sephiroth heard Cloud clear his throat, and spun around to face him, smiling. “Hey handsome. I didn’t hear you come in. Is the taxi here yet? I would have you give me a ride to the first elimination round for the Miss Midgar pageant, but riding on Fenrir just _totally_ ruins my hair and I can’t have that today of all days. Besides…” Here Sephiroth smiled coquettishly at Cloud and fluttered his eyelashes. “I’d like it best if you’d just ride me, but we can‘t get married until I win the Miss Gaia crown. I won‘t lose my eligibility, you understand, right? It doesn‘t mean I don‘t love you.”

“I was hoping we could have lunch together.” Cloud said when a horn honked outside.

“Oh, that must be the taxi. I’m sorry I forgot lunch, I should be home in time for dinner though.” Sephiroth looked in the mirror once more, carefully removing the tiara so as not to muss up his hair, and kissed Cloud quickly on the cheek before he hurried outside and got in the taxi.

Cloud gave a heavy sigh. He missed Tifa so much, not just her physical presence, but the woman he fell in love with…ever since that day she hit her head at the bar, she had started slowly changing into someone completely narcissistic and shallow. Cloud wanted to marry a caring and dependable woman, not a beauty queen. What went wrong?

 

***

 

Sephiroth’s essence floated through the Lifestream, trying to escape the memory of Cloud taunting him that he himself was nothing but a fading memory. He had loved the blond warrior for so long, but Cloud had betrayed him at Nibelheim, and started to make it up to him by giving him the black materia, but then he betrayed Sephiroth again. Fueled by rage of his heartbreak, he had tried to destroy everything Cloud held dear when he possessed Kadaj’s body, but he couldn’t bring himself to actually kill Cloud, and here he was, back in the Lifestream all alone.

“We have more in common than you think.” A female voice suddenly spoke, and Sephiroth found himself on a grassy knoll overlooking the ocean.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“We’re more alike than you want to admit.” Aerith told him, materializing next to him. “I like this place.”

“What do you want?” Sephiroth’s face turned stony as he recognized the Ancient that Cloud had been so hung up on, so that Sephiroth had been forced to kill her himself. “And what could we possibly have in common?”

“We both lost out on Cloud…but I still have Zack. You don’t have anyone. I think you deserve another chance with him.” Aerith explained.

“How?” Sephiroth spat the word at her, though he felt his heart leap up with hope.

“Take my hand.” Aerith held hers out to him. Sephiroth glared at her, but she had no reason to lie about this, so he reluctantly held her hand, then all of a sudden he was going at unbelievably high speeds over the surface of the planet until his spirit was drawn into a building and collided with the first body it found.

 

***

 

“It’s going to be another busy day.” Tifa told Cloud as she was doing her usual quick inventory before opening the bar.

“Need me to pick up anything?” he asked her. He was so happy that she had accepted his proposal. They still hadn’t picked a wedding date, but that didn’t bother him at all.

“No, I think we’ll be fi…” Tifa’s skin suddenly started crawling and she felt extremely dizzy, falling down and hitting her head on the edge of the counter.

“Tifa! Are you all right?” Cloud knelt beside her and felt for a pulse and was glad to find no blood on her head.

Sephiroth opened his eyes and smiled when he saw Cloud looking so concerned, hovering over him. “I…I feel strange.” he admitted, wondering why his body felt so different.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth practices at being Tifa

Cloud helped Tifa to her feet, keeping hold of her since she was still so wobbly. “Do you want me to take you upstairs to lie down for a while?”

“Oh, yes, please take me to bed.“ Sephiroth was enjoying having Cloud’s hands on his body, but he didn’t understand why he was looking up at his blond love, or why his voice sounded funny.

“Okay.” Cloud lifted Tifa carefully up into his arms and carried her up to their apartment.

Sephiroth took his eyes off Cloud’s face long enough to cuddle up against him while going up the stairs, his breasts pressing against Cloud’s chest… _breasts_?! Sephiroth looked at his body for the first time and shrieked as he realized he wasn’t in his own body. “What’s…what’s happened to me?!”

“You feel and hit your head.” Cloud said, hoping there was nothing seriously wrong with her. “Do you want to go to the doctor?” he asked her as he gently laid her in bed.

“No, no, I just need to rest by myself a while and I’ll be fine.” Sephiroth told Cloud, trying to smile nonchalantly but it looked more like he had just someone jump out at him and was trying to smile while being totally scared.

“I’m going to go answer that, it’s probably another delivery request.” Cloud heard his business line phone ring. “Do you want me to call Sophia and let her know she needs to open the bar today?”

Sephiroth nodded. “You take such good care of me, Cloud.” As soon as he left, Sephiroth got out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom. His balance was totally off, this body’s weight was distributed awkwardly. Looking in the mirror, he barely stopped himself from shrieking again. “I’m…I’m Tifa?” Sephiroth couldn’t believe it…he was now in the body of the woman who had stolen him from Cloud? How much sicker could it get? Then he started laughing a moment later…it wasn’t sick at all, it was poetic justice. Using Tifa’s body, he could steal Cloud back! All he had to do was figure out how to be a woman. He undressed to see what he had to work with.

_Tifa wanted to scream as she saw Sephiroth’s face in the mirror, but she had no control over her body. She realized that he had taken it over somehow, and she had been turned into a silent witness in her own body. How could she warn everyone?_

Sephiroth explored Tifa’s firm young body, feeling a bit odd as he was basically just feeling himself up. Her breasts were well-formed, and he couldn’t resist playing with her nipples. Did Cloud ever do this to her? Sephiroth wondered. He was upset there wasn’t a better mirror to see himself in. Frowning, he decided to try the bedroom, and was relieved to find one on the inside of the wardrobe door. This body liked to be touched apparently, Sephiroth felt good as he examined himself. A knock on the door interrupted him. “Who is it?” he asked, mentally cursing at how Tifa’s voice annoyed him.

“It’s me, Tifa, Sophia. Are you feeling better? Cloud said you were lying down, so I thought I’d check to see if you were ready to come down to the bar or if you wanted to take the whole day off?” Sophia replied.

“Oh, I’ll be right down!” he called out. He looked at himself in the mirror again, and realized he should get dressed. Rummaging through the wardrobe was disappointing. Why didn’t Tifa have more womanly clothes? Did she really want to be a man? Maybe Cloud wasn’t attracted to Tifa for her femininity. The thought made Sephiroth smile. After he put on a simple blouse and shorts, he tried practicing walking in a pair of high heels he found hidden in the back of the wardrobe. They made his legs look more attractive, but they were a bitch to figure out how to walk in. He fell down and started cursing, then picked himself up and went to the door, heading down to the bar.

 

***

 

Reno took his usual spot at the bar, and he noticed right away that Tifa seemed different. “Hey Teef, you alright?” he asked when she finally showed up. “And I need a refill!” He held up his glass towards her.

Sephiroth found it so hard not to break one of the beer bottles on the smug Turk’s head, but he was supposed to be Tifa. “Don’t you want to protect your liver?” he asked Reno, thinking of how Tifa was supposed to be caring and nosy.

“Don’t worry about me.” Reno said, looking around at the women there, deciding who he wanted that night.

“I won’t, you don’t have to worry about that.” Sephiroth muttered under his breath.

As the day wore on, Sephiroth understood why Tifa’s wardrobe was so basic and utilitarian. His pretty blouse was now badly stained and his feet hurt. And he was getting pissed off how Reno was trying to hit on all the women except him. He remembered well Reno’s reputation when it came to women, why did he ignore Tifa except when he wanted another refill? Tifa’s breasts alone should have interested him, shouldn’t they? “Reeeennnnoooo…” Sephiroth said, trying to imitate how he thought the women Reno frequented talked like.

“Yeah, what ya want?” Reno replied, keeping an eye on the blonde that just walked in.

“Do you think I’m pretty?” Sephiroth asked him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth teases Reno and discusses wedding plans with Cloud. Remember, Sephiroth is still kinda crazy.

“Uh, yeah, sure you are.“ Reno replied indifferently.

“Am I pretty enough to…” Sephiroth leaned forward and whispered something in Reno’s ear.

Reno swallowed his beer wrong and started spluttering, his face turning delightful shades of red and purple as much from his choking as from Tifa’s explicit question. “Uh…I didn‘t know that you…I mean…” Reno struggled to find a ‘proper’ answer.

Sephiroth’s smile stretched almost from ear to ear as he relished the discomfort he put the randy Turk in. “I think you need to rest for a moment, why don’t you step into my office?” He walked around the bar and pulled a stunned Reno into his office, locking the door behind them. “Well, do you think I’m that pretty?” he asked, pushing himself firmly against Reno.

Reno blinked, trying to figure out what was going on with Tifa. Her breasts pushing into his chest were so distracting…the usually smooth-talking Turk was now tongue-tied. “You’ve always…I thought that…”

“I didn’t ask you to think about anything but what you’d like to do to me.” Sephiroth pointed out.

“Cloud…” Reno managed to get out as Tifa started to touch him, and he lowered his head to hers, just about to kiss her when she suddenly drew away.

“What about Cloud?“ Sephiroth pouted. Reno mentioning his name snapped Sephiroth out of his ploy to destroy Tifa and Cloud’s happiness by turning her into a cheap slut. He was here to love Cloud and be loved by him, so he couldn’t do anything with Reno, not when he was in Tifa’s body, even though it would be a perfect way to make her pay, since he could feel her reluctance to touching Reno.

“You’re still engaged, aren’t you?” Reno asked. “You’ve been blabbing to everyone about your wedding plans. Are you getting cold feet?”

“No! I love Cloud!” Sephiroth vehemently stated. “I just want to know how pretty everyone thinks I am.”

“I think you’re pretty annoying.” Reno snapped, unlocking and opening the door before shoving his hands in his pockets to push his pants out and hide his aroused state before storming out, muttering under his breath about bitchy cock-teasers.

 

***

 

“I brought home some dinner since I didn’t think you’d be up to cooking tonight.” Cloud said when he came into the bar that evening. “Marlene and Denzel have already finished their homework. Her reading skills are coming along very well.”

“Oh, that’s good.” Sephiroth had forgotten that Cloud and Tifa had adopted two brats. He remembered vaguely seeing a family picture in the bedroom, but he was more interested in getting familiar with Tifa’s body at the time. Sephiroth left Sophia in charge of the bar while he went upstairs for takeout dinner.

“Have you set the wedding date yet?” Marlene asked when they all sat down together and started eating. “Can I be the flower girl?”

“Yes, have we?” Sephiroth asked Cloud hopefully.

“Not yet. You only accepted my proposal yesterday.” Cloud reminded her.

“Well, he and I will talk about it later and then let you know, okay?” Sephiroth tried to smile at Marlene, but it looked more like a grimace. He had never been around children much, even when he had been one himself, and wasn‘t sure how to act around them.

 

***

 

As they got into their separate twin beds that night, Sephiroth lay so he faced Cloud. “Why are we sleeping apart?” he asked.

“Because we’re not married yet. We agreed that we could wait until then. I mean we already did in the _Highwind_ , but never since then, and that’s how it’s going to stay until our wedding night.” Cloud answered, turning over so he could look at Tifa too.

“I want to sell the bar.” Sephiroth told Cloud.

Cloud’s jaw dropped open. “ _What_?”

“It’s annoying hard work, and I don’t want to end up worn out before my time. I want to stay pretty for you.” Sephiroth explained. His understanding of relationships was limited at best, and he felt the woman should stay home and the man should support her. And the patrons at the bar only confirmed his negative view of humanity. There was no way Tifa could be a proper wife to Cloud if she kept slaving away for vermin.

“Uh…are you sure about that?” Cloud was shocked. “I’m not sure I make enough with my deliveries to support us.”

“Then charge more.” Sephiroth stated matter of factly. “Can we get married in a month?” He figured it would take him that long to perfect his Tifa persona and get Cloud to admit he loves him, not Tifa.

“Uh, sure, but do we have the time to plan everything?” Cloud asked.

“We don’t need many guests, Marlene wants to be flower girl, isn’t that enough? It’s odd, isn’t it? The one person who should really be there can’t.” Sephiroth replied.

“Not just Aerith.” Cloud agreed, misunderstanding. “Zack too.”

“No, not them!” Sephiroth almost snapped. “I meant Sephiroth.”

“What the…why would you even say that?” Cloud couldn’t believe his ears and felt himself getting angry, nearly shooting out of his bed. “After everything he’s done to us…”

“Well, we’re planning our happy day and that is no time to hold grudges, is it?” Sephiroth thought maybe he was going too fast with his plans for Cloud. “I mean…uh…he brought us back together, didn’t he? You went to join SOLDIER because you idolized him, and then in Nibelheim, you rescued me like you promised because of him, right?” Cloud just grunted instead of saying anything, so Sephiroth continued. “And that eventually led us back together again. So, that’s why he should be there.”

“Then he could kill everyone and we’d definitely have a wedding to remember, wouldn’t we?” Cloud couldn’t hide his scorn any longer. “Good night, Tifa. I love you.”

Sephiroth frowned, feeling rather hurt. He wanted Cloud to say how much Sephiroth meant to him, but he wasn’t doing good so far, what with being stuck in the body of his competition for Cloud’s heart and all.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth has a day at the spa and does some shopping

“Can we afford this?” Cloud asked two weeks later as they entered the posh lobby of the hotel Tifa had said they should stay at while they went house-hunting. The bar was sold, and now they were essentially homeless.

“Of course!” Sephiroth replied. He knew what Cloud didn’t, the bar had sold so fast, and at twice the market value, because of a secret visit he had made to Rufus. Sephiroth knew of Rufus’ tastes from rumours when he was a First Class SOLDIER, he had never cared about them then, but now it could pay very well. This wasn’t ruining Tifa’s reputation, since Rufus wouldn’t speak of it, and it wasn’t even really sexual, so Sephiroth was still saving himself for Cloud. It was merely a business transaction from which both he and Rufus benefited from. “Mr. and Mrs. Strife.” Sephiroth told the girl at the front desk when they checked in. Marlene and Denzel were just looking in awe at the luxury surrounding them. He relished announcing himself and Cloud as a married couple. It felt so good…Tifa liked it too, he had realized she was still present in their body, which gave him such a thrill to know that she would witness him stealing Cloud from her.

“We’re not married yet.” Cloud said in surprise. Tifa had made the reservations, but he didn’t know she had registered them as a couple.

“We will be soon enough.” Sephiroth smiled. He had been practicing smiling in the mirror, and was now getting quite good at it. Walking in the high heels was going to take some more time though. Tifa’s damned breasts kept bouncing or jiggling and getting him off balance. He needed a better and tighter bra. Tifa must have been flaunting them to get better tips, but that was over now.

“Here are your key cards to your rooms.” the clerk handed Cloud four of them, one each for him and Tifa, and then one each for the kids, who would be sharing the room next to theirs. “Please let us know if there’s any additional assistance you require.”

“This is…nice.” Cloud said when they entered their hotel suite. He felt a bit out of place with all the lush opulence, and carefully put their sturdy but plain suitcases on the bed to start unpacking.

“It’s what we deserve, isn’t it?” Sephiroth wasn’t going to live life slaving just to pay the bills, with the occasional week’s vacation in a little dirty mountain cabin or cheap oceanside motel. He had never had to scrape by, and didn‘t intend to start now…he would live in the lap of luxury, which would coincidentally be Cloud’s lap. Sephiroth just had to convince Cloud they could make the big bucks, his fiancé simply needed a push in the right direction. “Oh, and I’m scheduled for the works at the wonderful spa and salon here in ten minutes, I’ll see you later, feel free to order room service.” He blew a kiss at Cloud and left.

Cloud stared at Tifa leaving, wondering if she was changing because of their impending nuptials or all the constant world-saving they had to do in between earning a living. He was tired of it himself, but…he decided to stop thinking about it and grabbed the room service menu. His jaw dropped when he looked at the prices…was this place for real?

“I’m Mrs. Tifa Strife, I have a two o’clock appointment.” Sephiroth told the receptionist when he entered the spa.

“Oh, yes. It’s lucky you made your appointment when you did, we just got swamped.” she replied, moving her head to indicate the six women sitting in the waiting room.

“Who are they?” Sephiroth asked the receptionist, looking at the big hair and weird tans the young women all had. They also looked bored and some just seemed to exude bitchiness.

“The Miss Midgar beauty pageant starts next week, and they’re getting ready to impress the judges.” the receptionist explained.

“Beauty pageant?” Sephiroth had never heard of such a thing, but before the receptionist could answer, his spa attendant showed up and led him to a room.

“A beauty pageant is where wannabe trophy wives compete to give men who can’t get laid something to jerk off to.” the spa attendant sourly replied, taking up the rest of the answer.

“What’s a trophy wife?” Sephiroth continued his questioning as he entered the room with a table he was scheduled to get a full body massage on.

“Just what it sounds like. Rich men find a beautiful young woman to marry, good for nothing but showing off to everyone, just like a trophy.” the spa attendant managed to hide his opinion that maybe this lady was as smart as those trophy wives. “Here’s a robe for you to use while you‘re here, the masseuse will be with you shortly.” the spa attendant pointed to where the robe was hanging on a hook on the wall and then left.

Sephiroth undressed and put on the robe, waiting and wondering why spa attendant seemed so negative about the idea of trophy wives. It didn’t seem like a pejorative term to him. That’s the kind of wife Cloud should have, someone he was proud to show off to everyone. The masseuse showed up soon, and Sephiroth took the robe off again and laid on the table. The little mewling sounds of content were not just from Sephiroth, he could tell Tifa also enjoyed the pampering as they got a full-body massage, two facials because her pores were such a mess, a seaweed and mud wrap, then topped it off with a manicure and pedicure. He could have had his hair done too, but Sephiroth was leery of people messing with his hair. When he was finally feeling like a proper woman and was heading back to the elevator to rejoin Cloud in their suite, he noticed the boutique on the other side of the lobby…new clothes! He needed those too!

“May I help you?” the snobby saleswoman asked as Sephiroth entered. She barely stopped turning up her nose at the plain clothes he was wearing.

“I want a new wardrobe.” Sephiroth stated. “Money is no issue.”

The saleswoman smiled from ear to ear. “You are a smart woman with good taste, I’m sure we can help you.”

Cloud was wondering if Tifa had gotten lost or been kidnapped. It had been hours since she left for her spa treatment, and he was bored and lonely. Suddenly the door opened, and a bellhop pushed in one of those luggage carts, full of boxes and shopping bags with the hotel’s logo on them. Tifa followed him in, in a brand new dress and low heels. “What happened to you?” he asked her once the bellhop left, thanking Tifa for the generous tip.

“I made myself beautiful for you. This is a wonderful hotel!” Sephiroth was beaming. “Let me show you everything I bought!”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth finally decides how to win Cloud's heart

Cloud tried to be enthusiastic as Tifa modeled her new wardrobe for him. She did look beautiful, but he had always found her so, and she just looked out of his league right now. Money had never interested him that much, and he had thought Tifa felt the same way. “What’s in those bags and that box?” Cloud pointed to the bags and the red box she had left on the bed.

“Oh, those are things I bought to keep myself looking good for you.” Sephiroth had also purchased toiletries and cosmetics from the spa and salon. If Cloud was going to love him and not Tifa, he had to distance himself from the workhorse Tifa seemed to have been and reinvent a new Tifa persona that was purely Sephiroth. “And the box, that’s something special for me…I mean for you…well, for both of us, for the honeymoon.” Sephiroth’s eyes twinkled as he kissed Cloud on the cheek. “Are you ready for dinner? Do you want room service or to eat in the restaurant here?”

Cloud managed to smile. He was eager to finally marry Tifa after the long torturous road they both had to travel back to each other, but he hadn‘t thought much about the honeymoon, and at least she sounded like a bit more like herself asking about dinner. “I think room service.”

Marlene and Denzel were extremely excited as they all ate dinner together, . “This place has a great arcade!” Denzel blurted out between bites of the gourmet pizza they had decided to order. “And they have a nice playhouse there too!” Marlene chimed in.

“I’m glad you are enjoying yourselves.“ Sephiroth said. “Tomorrow Cloud and I will go look at some houses while you two are at school. Then before dinner we’ll buy you a proper flower girl dress at the boutique, okay Marlene?” Sephiroth was glad the kids were so easily pleased.

 

***

 

“The first house is in a great neighborhood with schools in walking distance.” the real estate agent told them the next morning as she drove them to it.

“It looks rather big.” Cloud said quietly to Tifa when they got out of the car and saw it.

“Let’s check the inside first.” Sephiroth replied, though he wasn‘t too impressed himself, it just looked so cutesy that he felt slightly nauseous.

“The previous owners loved to cook, the gourmet kitchen is the best feature in this house, let me show you.” The agent unlocked the front door and led them to it.

“This is quite a kitchen.” Cloud agreed, though he didn’t recognize most of the kitchen gadgets he saw, even though he frequently helped Tifa cook for their family while they told each other about their workday.

“That it is.” Sephiroth kept his face neutral…was cooking that important to Cloud? He didn’t fancy trying to learn how to, but if that was the best way to Cloud’s heart…

 

***

 

“This second house does need some work, but it’s got plenty of space and potential.” the agent told them. “But it is livable.”

“What happened to it?” Sephiroth and Cloud asked together as they stood in front of it. The pitched roof had some damage that was slightly patched up, and some of the windows were boarded up.

“It was…um…damaged when the Diamond Weapon attacked.” the agent reluctantly admitted. “But the damage is mainly superficial. Come inside and I’ll show you.”

 

***

 

“I love it!” Marlene said when the saleslady at the boutique showed them the first dress when Sephiroth explained what they were looking for.

“We’ll take it then.” He smiled almost genuinely down at Marlene as the saleslady wrapped it and put it carefully into a box.

“What house did you like best?” Denzel asked his adoptive parents at dinner. He had tried to get Marlene to show him the dress, but she refused to show it to anyone until the wedding.

“We’re not sure yet.” Cloud answered.

 

***

 

“Well, which one did you like best?” Sephiroth asked Cloud as they got ready for bed later that night.

“The only one that we could afford is the one that needs some renovating.” Cloud replied before turning his light off. “We can talk about it more in the morning, I’m exhausted.”

Sephiroth kept his light on, thinking about that house. The master suite had a large walk-in closet, and a lovely garden tub in the bathroom that he could enjoy pampering himself in. He had bought some bubble bath from the hotel spa that was moisturizing as well. That reminded him of the beauty pageant contestants who were also at the spa. Grabbing his smart phone from off the nightstand, he did a search for the Miss Midgar pageant as Cloud started snoring. As he read all about it, a thoughtful faraway look appeared on his face. “I failed ruling the world as myself, maybe I can do it as a beauty queen…and that would also prove myself worthy to Cloud!” Sephiroth whispered to himself, then giggled and clapped his hands, waking Cloud up.

“What’s going on?” Cloud sleepily asked.

“Nothing dear, go back to sleep.” Sephiroth told him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth enters the Miss Midgar beauty pageant.

“I’m not moving anymore boxes!“ Sephiroth pouted as he looked at Cloud.

“Are you feeling okay?” Cloud asked Tifa. She had only moved four light boxes as they brought their belongings from the moving van to their new house. They had decided on the one that needed renovating. Their friends had volunteered to help fix it up, Barret being rather excited about trying out a new nail gun attachment for his arm.

“No, I’m not!” Sephiroth exclaimed. “I don’t feel good.” His enjoyment of having a second chance at life and Cloud‘s love, even if it was in a woman’s body, had ended the night before. He had thought he had been poisoned when he started having cramps and then discovered he was bleeding, and was disgusted to find out it was just part and parcel of being a woman. He was ready to go back to the Lifestream at that point, but no such luck.

Cloud merely smiled at the woman he loved, figuring out it was best to just humour her right now. “Okay, then why don’t you go lie down while I finish unloading?”

Sephiroth was offended by what seemed to be a smug condescending Cloud, but he satisfied himself with a dainty sniff as he set down the boxes in the entryway and walked upstairs to their bedroom. He decided a bubble bath was what he needed more than a nap. Sephiroth had discovered he loved them, playing with the bubbles satisfied the child in him that he never got to be. “I’m going to burst you!” he warned the bubbles.

“I thought you were going to lie down.” Cloud said when he came in a little while later to check on her.

“Well, I changed my mind!” Sephiroth snapped, feeling himself dissolve into tears at the interruption. “How can I feel better when you’re constantly bothering me?”

Cloud opened his mouth to defend himself, then thought the better of it and just walked away. Tifa wasn’t usually so moody, though he had ended up with a black eye once or twice before he learned to just let her be. Sephiroth’s bubble bath fun was spoiled now, so he got out of the tub and dried himself off before gently rubbing the expensive moisturizing lotion into his skin. “You are beautiful, aren’t you?” he told his reflection as he looked at his naked body in the mirror, smiling happily as he put on his bathrobe before heading downstairs to make himself a fruit smoothie.

_Tifa was worried…not because she feared Sephiroth and what he might do, he didn’t seem to be a threat anymore. It was how he constantly complimented and pampered himself in her body, it was like a long and slow seduction, and she was starting to enjoy it._

 

***

 

Sephiroth stood in front of the full-length mirror and put the tiara on his head, then twirled around modeling it, enjoying the way his dress flared up, showing off his legs.

Cloud came home for lunch after a few easy morning deliveries, and was disappointed but not surprised when Tifa wasn’t in the kitchen, just finishing up his meal. She wasn’t the best cook ever, but over the last few months her culinary skills seemed to have totally disappeared, if she even bothered cooking at all. He went upstairs when he heard a noise, and found Tifa in their bedroom, singing “You Are So Beautiful To Me” to her reflection.

Sephiroth heard Cloud clear his throat, and spun around to face him, smiling. “Hey handsome. I didn’t hear you come in. Is the taxi here yet? I would have you give me a ride to the first elimination round for the Miss Midgar pageant, but riding on Fenrir just totally ruins my hair and I can’t have that today of all days. Besides…” Here Sephiroth smiled coquettishly at Cloud and fluttered his eyelashes. “I’d like it best if you’d just ride me, but we can‘t get married until I win the Miss Gaia crown. I won‘t lose my eligibility, you understand, right? It doesn‘t mean I don‘t love you.”

“I was hoping we could have lunch together.” Cloud said when a horn honked outside.

“Oh, that must be the taxi. I’m sorry I forgot lunch, I should be home in time for dinner though.” Sephiroth looked in the mirror once more, carefully removing the tiara so as not to muss up his hair, and kissed Cloud quickly on the cheek before he hurried outside and got in the taxi.

Cloud gave a heavy sigh. He missed Tifa so much, not just her physical presence, but the woman he fell in love with…ever since that day she hit her head at the bar, she had started slowly changing into someone completely narcissistic and shallow. Cloud wanted to marry a caring and dependable woman, not a beauty queen. What went wrong? He went downstairs and reluctantly made his own lunch. The last few months Tifa had been so busy getting ready for the pageant, taking lessons for all kinds of things. Dance, voice, even etiquette lessons, in which she picked up a snobby upper class accent from her teacher. Tifa had been using the money from the sale of her bar to pay for it all, but after the sizeable down payment on their house, thirty-five percent, she didn’t have enough for hiring a pageant coach as well. Cloud was helping Reeve in his new venture, the W.R.O. Cloud was involved with training new cadets, the pay was good, but after the house payments, plus Marlene and Denzel to care for, they didn’t have much money left for everything Tifa wanted once she had spent all of hers.

“It’s just money.” Tifa would invariably say whenever she modeled new clothes she had bought for him and Cloud got a look at the price tag. He had been rather hurt when she told him they had to postpone the wedding, and worried that maybe the change in Tifa was because she was getting cold feet. The only reassurance he had was that whenever she quit looking at herself and actually looked at him, the love was still there. He just had to trust her when she told him that this was just something she had to do.

 

***

Sephiroth checked his hair and makeup in his compact mirror before getting out of the taxi and paying the driver. “This is it!” he exclaimed to himself, smiling as he walked into the building. There were nineteen other young women there, his competition, but he wasn’t worried. Reeve when he came over to help Cloud with some repairs to their new house, had let it slip that Reno and Rude were doing security for the pageant. Reno had volunteered himself and Rude, and the pageant organizers were extremely grateful to get such qualified help, not knowing that Reno was looking to help himself to the candidates. So Sephiroth had sweet-talked Rude into giving him intel on all the other candidates and the judges as well, with the excuse that he could help them by being on the inside, he just needed to know who to look out for. Sephiroth hadn’t bothered trying to get the information from Reno, he might still be pissy about that scene at the bar where she teased him a bit too much, and Sephiroth didn’t want to cause any problems with his upcoming marriage to Cloud.

“Tifa Lockhart, I’m here and ready to win!” Sephiroth told the lady at the registration table.

“I’m sure you are, dear. But you’ll have to wait your turn.” she told him condescendingly. “Here’s your badge and number. Whenever they ask for that number, that means you’re up. Please take a seat and wait your turn.”

Sephiroth contented himself by thinking how he could kill them all as he sat and waited while more young women came in, but then that wasn’t how he wanted to win this. He wanted to be crowned in front of everyone. Wouldn’t be the same if they were dead, he thought, unaware that his bloodlust had been fading away over the past few months, forced out by his developing love of his own body, or rather Tifa‘s body.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth isn't as prepared as he thought he was.

Sephiroth thought his head was going to explode from listening to his roommate he got stuck with at the Midgar National Hotel for the pageant. She was standing in front of the mirror in their room and kept practicing answers to the questions they might be asked, and Sephiroth had never heard anything more inane.

“How do you see yourself ten years from now?” The bubbly redhead who had introduced herself as Trish Peterson asked before reciting her answer. “I’d like to be running a special shelter for the homeless, where I could teach them to be as beautiful on the outside as they are on the inside.” She flashed a smile towards the mirror before turning to Sephiroth. “How come you aren’t practicing?”

“I’d rather give an honest answer that doesn’t seem to be rehearsed.” he lied. He was the great Sephiroth, he was smart enough to not need to practice such a thing.

 

***

 

Sephiroth stepped up to the microphone, flashing a smile at the judges and waiting.

“Miss Tifa Lockhart, who is the most influential person in your life and why?” One of the judges asked, after reading the random question that popped up on the monitor.

“Sephiroth.” he replied without thinking, then realized what he had just said when everyone in the room gasped, and tried to play it off like it was intentional. "Because...um...he did lots of bad things when he realized he had been betrayed by the Shinra Corporation...and it always reminds me...to never treat people like that." Sephiroth smiled slightly nervously at the judges and fluttered his eyelashes.

Later that night, Trish knocked on the bathroom door. “Tifa? Are you okay? You’ve been in there for two hours.”

“I’m fine! Go away!” Sephiroth snapped, then realized maybe he should get out. He had taken an extra long bubble bath to try and cheer himself up, but he just kept crying over how he flubbed his question by admitting how great he was. Now he looked like a prune and bursting the bubbles hadn’t given him the usual thrill. Coming out of the bathroom fully dressed, he barely glanced at Trish before grabbing his purse. “I’ll be back later.”

 

***

 

“There she is.” Rude said as he and Reno entered the hotel bar, easily spotting Tifa perched on a stool, downing shot after shot.

“You might wanna leave off on that. How fast you can give yourself alcohol poisoning isn’t one of the categories.” Reno said as he and Rude sat down on either side of her.

“What the hell do you want?” Sephiroth snapped at them. “Can’t a girl have some privacy?”

“We’re pageant security, remember?” Rude pointed out. “We’re keeping your ability to win the contest safe. What‘s wrong?”

“I’m quitting the pageant!” Sephiroth stated, not even sure why he said that. This body was getting too emotional for him.

“What? Why?” Reno wasn’t that big on Tifa, and didn’t get why Rude wanted to make sure she was okay, but this did surprise him.

“So I can leave with my dignity!” Sephiroth started crying again. “If I’m not going to win, I won’t bother competing.”

“Why would you think you won’t win?” Reno asked.

“I’m…I’m not like the other women.” Sephiroth finally replied, even though he wanted to tell him it was none of his damned business.

Rude chuckled. “No, you’re not. You’re Tifa Lockhart, and the one thing she’s not is a quitter. Just be yourself and you’ll do fine. And don‘t stay here too much longer, the pageant organizers don‘t like contestants having any kind of a reputation for bad behavior.” He put a reassuring hand on Tifa’s shoulder momentarily before he and Reno left.

 

***

As Sephiroth crawled into his bed later that night, he mulled over Rude’s parting advice to him, and felt better the more he repeated them. Maybe his problem is that he was trying to win as Tifa and copying the other contestants. He was Sephiroth, he needed to think of this as war and he was alone in enemy territory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking when this story is done, I'll do an add-on ficlet of all types of pageant questions and Sephiroth's answers to them.


End file.
